Shame on me
by Leeleechanlee
Summary: Cirucci feels shame for her failures, "pretending that being human" is acceptable, when it's "not". Uryu feels more shameful for not telling Cirucci in the first place that it's okay to live her life like one if she wants to, because after all, she's alive. UryuxCirucci One-Shot.


**Another UryuxCirucci fanfic, I think my third, or fourth, if I'm not mistaken. This takes place when the Fullbringer arc is over. A One-Shot on their developing feelings towards one another. I love this ship and if you don't, it's okay, just don't force yourself to read it. Thank you.**

**Summary: Cirucci feels shame for her failures, "pretending that being human" is acceptable, when it's "not". Uryu feels more shameful for not telling Cirucci in the first place that it's okay to live her life like one if she wants to, because after all, she's alive. UryuxCirucci.**

**Shame on me...**

Cirucci glares at the fan of the ceiling, inspecting it for any dust bunnies, and none are present as she lies there feeling agitated with herself. His bed, Four Eyes bed had no wrinkles on the sheets until she invaded it's surface with her figure, like a real nuisance... The walls surrounding his room had no flaws she could spot. His perfection was irritating to her. Especially when she felt shame in failing the whole of Hueco Mundo, her fight against him and bug face. A fighter as skilled, ruthless, and rebellious as herself, proof of that, from her three digit marking, via "Lord Aizen". Here she was, a proud fighter, a Hollow, an Arrancar... Feeling sorry for herself, as she indulges in human life.

She remembers just yesterday how she was scolded by Four Eyes father to remain indoors and safe, like if she was a small defenseless child. She remembers the portrait of the warm smile that welcomed her into their home, the beautiful, absent mother Four eyes held dear. She remembers engaging in conversation with one of the Kurosaki twins known as Yuzu, who lately was taking lesson from her four eyed cousin in archery. Being begged not to be told on towards her big brother, who frankly Cirucci had no interest in wasting time on, except maybe offering his defeat by her to Four eyes, to further make him envious of her achievements to take him down first. She remembers how Yuzu would involve her in her little girl talks about boys like Ginta, her siblings, and wanting to protect her family just as much as both of them, raving about her joy of finally seeing her brother with that Kuchiki girl.

That same Kuchiki girl who patted an Arrancar such as herself on the shoulder, a Shinigami, telling her to recover peacefully at the Ishida's household with no shame, because she too did the same at the Kurosaki's. Guaranteeing her that she would feel right at home like herself, just wait she'd spew to her, in an attempt to keep her there, healing from her escape from that vile Mayuri's lab.

Well, Kuchiki was right, she felt right at home. A peace Cirucci admitted she loved... She could not imagine herself away from Four eyes, because now it felt so natural to see the gleam of his glasses when ever he designed her a dress with such passion, whenever he'd pack her a cute lunch as she shamefully helped the Shinigamis. How natural it was whenever he appeared by her side to help her if she ever needed it. She dared to love this dork, just as Rukia fell for her own dork, and it infuriated Cirucci. None the less she stayed... She had no urge to leave. She blamed him, as she furiously shook her head of her internal battles.

Just like that, Four eyes was already home. Putting his shoes neatly by the exit, as he proceeded to his room upstairs. Finding Cirucci cocooned in his blankets full of cross designs. A state he started finding her in, whenever she was obviously troubled. She looked so vulnerable, even if it was not the case. His fight with her was enough to prove that.

"What's wrong now?" Uryu asked a bit worried in his tone already.

"Nothing Four Eyes... How was school dork? Did you finally get a girlfriend, so you can stop wasting time on the weak." Cirucci said bitterly.

"Well, if I'd assume any better, I'd say your feeling upset about something I did?" Uryu asked, putting his back pack to the side.

"It's not you! Can you for once put the blame elsewhere?!" Cirucci yelled, with rage hinted in her eyes.

Uryu could only stare. Feeling puzzled for Cirucci's sudden outburst, thinking to himself, could she be blaming herself for something...? She was to proud for that, yet here she was dropping that to her side, no longer boasting about her pride as an UN-shattered warrior.

"I thought all your misfortunes were of my cause was all. So why the sudden blame on yourself all of a sudden?"Uryu questioned, with a mischievous glint in his eye, as he wiped his frames clean with a handkerchief he pulled out of his pocket.

"I blame myself. I failed myself. I don't really care for Aizen's approval, it's no wonder I was branded with a three digit number in the first place, and I could care less for that scum bag Mayuri, as he tortured me. I do care that I'm stuck here, being baby sat by the likes of you... Quincies... and most of all the occasional Shinigamis that swings by. Did you all forget my intentions to kill you lot?!" Cirucci said, while red in the face, from finally releasing all her anger, like a tea pot done on a stove.

Cirucci wanted to continue with her silly arguments and speeches to try to get to a point, but Ishida Uryu just had to continue for her, like a smart ass that he was.

"So, let me finish for you Cirucci. Your just tired in general of falling for our side and what we offer you. Comradeship, friendship, people who genuinely care and will take care of you when you need it. Your ashamed of feeling comfort under this household? Of being accepted by me, by Yuzu, by Kurosaki and even Kuchiki. Your starting to get even close to people like Karin, Jackie, Renji, Chad, Soi Fon, my father. Did I leave anything out?" Uryu asked, a little under the pressure of his own temper.

"Yeah weirdo. You left out the part where I'm stupid to allow myself the luxury of falling for you... I hate it, I hate that I'm so casually feeling this comfort, as if I deserve it. I'm close to rock bottom. Always have been, and yet, here I am, relaxing, trusting, befriending, and loving..." Cirucci said, as her tone now seemed softer, almost in despair.

"Cirucci..." Uryu murmured, as he glanced away.

This time, himself feeling shame. Shame for allowing her to feel this way. He could of told her in advance that it was okay. Reassure her that no matter what, she was alive and had every right to taste life as much as he and everyone else.

Uryu, absent of any further doubt, embraced Cirucci in his arms, cradling the back of her nape, in an attempt to soothe all her self loathe away from herself. She tried to push away at first, but found herself holding on tightly onto him. She din't waste time, she knew if she'd push him away, he'd cooperate with getting off, like the do-gooder he was and she wasn't a fool, no, not this time...

"I can put up with this shame, because at the end of the day, it's what I want, and I've always done whatever I wanted, despite the outcome Uryu..." Cirucci confirmed, as her grip on him became tighter, reassuring him, she did not intend to let go of him just yet.

"Well, maybe you can, but I can't put my shame aside so easily... I should of made it very clear to you that you can live just as we do..." Uryu replied, focused on how poorly he felt, neglectful towards her.

Cirucci continued to embrace Uryu, with a feeling of annoyance, as she bit her bottom lip, and dared to pull Uryu's face to her level, as she kissed him, with no shame in sight. Biting at his lips, she craved him more, leaning her body onto his, feeling his hands support her arms, as she broke free of his gentle support, "shut up..." she whispered, pulling him onto her, and into his bed. They continued, with their flaws out the window to scatter into the sky like birds.

**End, **

**I knew this could of been longer, but it just felt right ending there. Plus, I'm practically alone in this ship, so despite expecting not to get much on this, reviews are still hopefully welcomed. No flames please...**


End file.
